If World War III starts, what do you think the trigger might be? NATO bombing Syria? North Korea threatening to launch a nuke at the USA? China having fisticuffs with Russia?
Well, the 5pm Takeaway blog has another suggestion. Perhaps it will all boil down to what colour sauce you like to put on your chips.
The spark that started it
Edinburgh’s Evening News today dedicated 1100 words to a story about a man who became very upset when an Edinburgh chip shop tried to charge him 25p for a sachet of tomato ketchup.
The man, a long-term Edinburgh resident but originally from Glasgow, took exception to his local chippie charging for ketchup but not charging for salt ‘n’ sauce – a delicacy which is often held up as the preferred condiment of Edinburgh.
The Evening News reports the man as saying: ‘I couldn’t believe it. Every chip shop I know gives ketchup free of charge. A condiment is a condiment.
‘You can’t offer one customer brown sauce for nothing and then charge another for tomato sauce.
‘I said I thought it was racist that if you come from Edinburgh you can get brown sauce free but people from elsewhere, who like ketchup, have to pay. They just said it’s what they do.’
The ketchup-loving customer seems to feel that he is the victim of some sort of discrimination.
It’s a typical bank holiday, silly season story and the Evening News have had some fun with it.
They have asked a couple of lawyers for their opinion of the case and the owner of the chippie is probably glad of all the free publicity.
If Glasgow’s Evening Times doesn’t come up with an equally daft story tomorrow then they will have missed a trick.
Salt ‘n’ sauce ban
It would not be a huge surprise to the 5pm Takeaway blog if Glasgow’s chippies announced a blanket ban on salt ‘n’ sauce as retaliation.
How long will it be before Glasgow is declared a salt ‘n’ sauce-free zone with roadblocks set up to stop the stuff from being smuggled into the city?
Ex-pat Edinburghers living in Glasgow will be forced to get their fix on the black market.
Storm in a chip paper
The entire thing is a storm in a chip paper but it does emphasise a more serious point: food defines who you are and offering a man salt ‘n’ sauce when he wants ketchup can be dangerous.