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Chip ‘n’ dip

Chocolate dipping sauce with fries: not natural

Different nations like to eat the same foods in different ways. Many Brits like their breakfast bread to be toasted and flavoured with marmalade. The French like to dip their morning baguette in their cafe au lait.

Chippie sauce

So far, so good. Moving onto chips, the discussion becomes a little more heated. Many feel that the Belgians love of mayo with fries is an abomination. Some freaks like ketchup. Famously, Glasgow prefers salt and vinegar while Edinburghers like their chips with salt and vinegary brown sauce.

With the obvious exception of ketchup, the 5pm Takeaway blog is easy osey with most of the above. However, we draw the line at the thought of fries with a chocolate dip. According to a report on Foodbeast, Japanese fast food chain Lotteria is about to launch fries that come with a milk chocolate dipping sauce.

Salted caramel

Salted caramel is good so we can see where Lotteria is coming from but we feel that we need to draw a line in the sand here.

It’s one thing to like fries and it’s another thing to like chocolate. Lots of people like fries and lots of people like chocolate.

That bit of the Venn diagram where the two sets of people overlap is probably quite large. This doesn’t mean that many of those people actually want to eat fries with their chocolate.

What next? Burgers in donuts? Oh… too late.

Drink up your cooked breakfast

A full cooked? One lump or two?

Tucking into a takeaway for lunch or dinner may be commonplace but we Brits have yet to really get the habit of having a takeaway for breakfast.

One company hopes to change that as they trial the world’s first liquid fry-up. Yeah, yeah, we know. The thought of a liquid fry-up is making us think that we might lose our breakfast rather than feel peckish.

Cooked breakfast in a carton

However, the company, called Fuel Your 10k Hours, is convinced that the only thing standing between Britain and a full English/Scottish is convenience. Billed as the ‘ultimate in convenience foods’, Fuel’s liquid fry-up ‘contains all the traditional English breakfast goodies into a carton so people can enjoy the sizzle of a fry-up on the go, without the hassle of washing up’.

If the press release is to be believed, the R&D team at Fuel spent six months developing the drink – a process which involved tasting over 500 fry-ups.

Barney Mauleverer, co-founder at Fuel Your 10K Hours, said: ‘A full English is the quintessential British breakfast staple and is packed full of protein, recognised as a key factor in satisfying hunger and keeping you feeling fuller for longer.

Time poor

‘We wanted to create a way for people to enjoy it on the go, without needing to spend time slaving away in the kitchen. As a nation, we’ve never been so time-poor so this is the perfect antidote for those who regularly miss breakfast.’

The 5pm Takeaway blog isn’t convinced by a liquid fry-up. It all sounds a bit too much like the sort of protein drinks fed to invalids. Actually, it all sounds like an April Fool that has been released a few months too early.

As we noted at the top of this blog, the liquid fry-up is only being trialled at the moment and we suspect that it’s a stunt for their other, more conventional, liquid breakfast flavours.

To be honest, we would rather grab a bacon roll than gulp down a liquidised cooked breakfast. Alternatively, we would just hang on until lunchtime when a fine array of food to go vendors open for business.

Smells like chicken…

The fried chicken candle: making home smell like chicken

With Thanksgiving within touching distance, the 5pm Takeaway blog thought it only appropriate that we should turn to America for inspiration once more.

When it comes to takeaway stories, there is just no beating the Land of the Free. Although having said that, Japan’s dining culture seldom fails to throw up some interesting tics and quirks.

Homely touch

Courtesy of the Kentucky for Kentucky website, we have learned of a new range of scented candles designed to make your home smell of fried chicken.

Made from soy wax and a secret blend of spices, the candles are said to ‘Let the fresh, fried sizzle of savory golden goodness drift into your hearts and homes’.

Apparently, the first batch of fried chicken candles sold out in under a minute. The second batch goes on sale this morning.

Jo Malone, eat your heart out.

Sweating like a…

Mind you, it does make us wonder if there might be a market for scented candles aimed at the British market? Eau de fish supper? Invigorating salt and vinegar? The kebab candle?

Naturally, our American friends are one step ahead when it comes to melding food and scented products. Anyone fancy freshening up with some Power Bacon deodorant?

Power Bacon deodorant: ideal for first dates with someone who really likes bacon

New takeaways in Glasgow. Oh, and one in Edinburgh

So this week’s 5pm Takeaway blog was going to point you towards this piece on what your choice of sandwich says about you.

Then we saw this piece on what your cocktail says about you and thought it was funnier.

And then we thought that we would write a piece on what your choice of takeaway says about you but figured that might be a bad idea that would lead to us getting our wrist slapped. Although we may still do it.

Fortunately, after digging around for a bit, we were saved from all of these options by some actual takeaway food news. You know, something that might actually be useful.

Grab a burger

On Glasgow’s Otago Street, Skinny’s is a new bar and burger joint that does takeaway as well as sit-in. Burgers are the main focus and Skinny’s serves eight different varieties plus their burger of the week.

They also do buckets of fried chicken, skinny wings and, if you really need some comfort food, they sell cheese toasties.

Do a dumpling

Meanwhile on Dumbarton Road, Dumpling Monkey is a new Chinese caff and takeaway which, as the name implies, offers  a range of dumplings alongside the noodles, wonton soups and bowls of congee.

They also serve bao zi – steamed buns filled with pork and cabbage or beef and carrot.

On the other side of the M8, Pig in a Poke has brought the pork to Rose Street. Much like Oink, they offer roast/BBQ pork rolls to takeaway or sit in.

Naturally, 5pm Takeaway has a vast array of different takeaway restaurants ready to deliver to your door. With online menu browsing and ordering, it’s a quick and convenient way have your fave takeaway delivered.

A pizza cocktail, please barkeep

One slice or two?

How do you like your pizza? Topped with pepperami, mozzarella and a delicate sugo? Or strained through ice and served in a martini glass?

At Trattoria Neapolis in Pasadena, the bar recently offered its customers the chance to suck down a pizza in cocktail form.

Half food, half hangover cure

The half food, half hangover cure was made with basil-infused vodka, ghost-pepper infused vodka, tomato water, muddled basil and porcini powder complete with a Parmesan and mozzarella foam on top.

We don’t know if it was best tackled with a straw or a knife and fork.

Being pretty much traditionalists on the pizza front, the 5pm Takeaway blog feels fairly queasy at the thought of the pizza cocktail.

Call us old fashioned but we don’t like our cocktails to have lumps.

Churchill’s Martini

Mind you, the pizza cocktail sounds delicious compared to this story about a martini flavoured with moisture extracted from the walls of Churchill’s War Rooms.

Britain’s war-time leader had many great qualities but few we would want to drink.

Naturally, the War Room Martini is on the list at The Churchill Bar and Terrace in London.

The key ingredient is the Robin Collective’s Churchill Historical Bitters infused with essence sucked out of the walls using a device similar to a dehumidifier.

We imagine that it has nothing to offer but blood, sweat and tears…

Flights of fancy

The American biscuit: best served with multiple gravies? Pic from Biscuit Head

Restaurants that offer flights of wine are nothing new and some enterprising Scottish bars such as the Inn on the Mile have taken to offering flights of whisky and craft beers.

It’s a clever idea. The customer gets to try manageable measures of three or four different drinks without busting the bank or being blotto. For the operator, it encourages customers to trade up and sample more expensive wines than they might do normally.

Biscuits and gravy

However, the 5pm Takeaway blog was tickled and astounded to see that a restaurant in North Carolina has started to offer its customers flights of gravy.

Biscuit Head serves the American classic pairing of biscuits and gravy. Where they veer form the norm is that they also offer diners the opportunity to taste three different gravies with their biscuits.

Can’t choose between espresso red eye, sweet potato coconut or smoked tomato Creole? Have them all.

Gravy sommelier

Not everyone has been impressed. The Gurgling Cod blog wonders how long it will be before diners are startled to find a gravy sommelier standing by their table offering them the gravy list.

While it is easy to scoff at some of our American cousin’s more bizarre food customs, some of our own might appear odd to visitors.

Can’t decide between chips, a kebab, cheese or pakora? Have them all in a munchie box.

NY Vs Lon takeaway smack down

They do takeout in New York, not takeaway

Loved this piece by Zadie Smith in the New Yorker in which she nails the difference between getting takeout in New York and calling for a takeaway in London.

In particular, the 5pm Takeaway blog belly chuckled over her observation that, unlike their New York counterpart, a London delivery driver would never wish her a ‘nice day’.

Instead, she writes, they are more likely to mutter “‘Have a good one’ —intoned with a slightly melancholy air, as if warding off the far greater likelihood of an evil “one”‘.

What’s for dinner? Sniff this

Not for the first time, the 5pm Takeaway blog is indebted to the Japanese for providing yet more offbeat fast food inspiration.

This week’s blog post comes courtesy of Scentee – a scent atomiser which can be attached to your smartphone and used to puff out mood-altering smells. Need to wake up in the morning? Plug a coffee cartridge into your phone and set your alarm.

Need to sharpen up? Try mint flavour. Is your tiny Tokyo apartment beginning to smell rather too strongly of your gym bag? Set the rose cartridge to overdrive.

Taste with your nose

One of the most bonkers Scentee applications are its hana yakiniku cartridges. Apparently, hana yakaniku can be translated as ‘tasting with your nose’ and Scentee’s yakiniku cartridges come in three flavours: beef rib, salted tongue and buttered potato.

The YouTube clip seems to suggest that skint students and women on a diet can fool their bodies into thinking that they have had a delicious beef rib meal by using Scentee.

How? Simple. Just skoosh beef rib at vapour at them while they tuck into a bowl of rice or salad leaves. The beefy vapours are accompanied by the sights and sounds of sizzling beef.

What could possibly go wrong?

New definition of aroma therapy

Better still is the part of the ad which suggests that a hana yakaniku cartridge could be key to a successful date.

At first, we were pretty sure that this is a prank but no, Scentee cartridges can be ordered on Amazon.

The 5pm Takeaway blog wishes the manufacturers of Scentee all the best but, at the same time, we hope to never have to rely on Scentees for a good meal.

Online takeaway offers

If you prefer your dinner to offer something more substantial than a whiff of beef rib or hint of baked spud, then remember 5pm Takeaway.

All it takes is a couple of clicks to get your favourite food delivered to your door from the best takeaways in your local area.

More strange tales from fast food’s frontiers

Twerking pudding: the ideal gift for the man who has everything? Pic via http://kinokorin.tumblr.com

Whenever the 5pm Takeaway blog needs some fast food inspiration, we look to the land of the rising sun. Japan seldom disappoints when it comes to kooky new takes on things to put in your mouth.

This week is no exception.

Miley Cyrus may have raised the profile of twerking thanks to her recent antics at MTV’s VMA show but it seems that the Japanese are way ahead of the former Hannah Montana.

Why watch Miley shake her tush when the Japanese have developed a twerking pudding?

Apparently, the mould for the bum jelly comes from a Japanese cartoon character. If you are tempted then you can buy one from Amazon here. You may need to brush up on your Japanese.

Fast food goes mobile

Meanwhile, KFC in the States have come up with a new way to encourage customers to eat more of their products: take out containers that fit in car cup holders.

The company did some research and discovered that 42% of Americans would be more likely to eat in their cars if food containers fitted in their cup holders.

Currently, most people use their cup holders to contain phones, coins and rubbish rather than drinks.

Not wishing to be accused of being deaf to their customers’ wishes, KFC promptly developed a range of GO Cups filled with wings, wedges and so on.

Traffic jam snacks

Handy if you are stuck in a gridlock but it does make the 5pm Takeaway blog wonder how long it will be before KFC GO Cups crop up in traffic accident reports – ‘I was trying to make a right turn while chowing down on a hot wing and the steering wheel slipped between my greasy fingers.’

We are also intrigued as to how KFC’s GO Cups might alter the portrayal of American cops. Traditionally, donuts were the snack of the choice for cops on a stakeout.

Will chicken littles in a cup become the new staple diet of the bored police officer?

KFC GO Cups: making hungry car journeys history


Glasgow is UK’s second city of curry

Curry Capital of Britain: there is always next year

It is with regret that the 5pm Takeaway blog must report that Bradford has beaten Glasgow into second place in the annual Curry Capital of Britain awards.

Taking place for the eleventh time, the competition aims to find the best UK city for curry lovers. This is the third time in a row that Bradford has taken the curry crown. Wolverhampton came third.

Glasgow 4 X winner

Glasgow has taken the title four times in the competition’s history.

We’re still not sure what tipped it in Bradford’s favour although their bid did include chicken karahi flavour crisps which can’t be overlooked.

The 5pm Takeaway blog contacted Glasgow’s foremost curry fans at Trampy and the Tramp’s Glasgow of Curry for reaction to this breaking story.

Podium gridlock

Here is the Tramp’s official statement:

Trampy: ‘We’re all about breaking out of old habits and trying something new at Trampy and The Tramp’s Glasgow of Curry so I can’t say I’m thrilled by the apparent gridlock on the Curry Capital podium – that’s the same top three result since 2011. But at least it points to consistency in curry excellence. So well done to Bradford, and to everyone involved in the Glasgow bid for placing a very respectable second. We enjoy a friendly rivalry with the Wolverhampton campaign so I’ll just say this: nae luck!’

The Tramp: ‘Congratulations to Bradford on scoring a hot hat-trick and sealing the deal for the third year in a row. Of course I’m disappointed for Glasgow but we’ll be back fighting next year … and at least we beat Wolverhampton. To be fair, Bradford came up with the concept of the Poppadomathon and for that alone they surely deserved the win.’

Trampy: ‘If this was Formula 1, they would probably change the structure or rules of the competition to try and shake things up and keep things interesting. Curry Capital has evolved in many ways since it was resurrected, so maybe they could explore some alternate judging criteria for 2014? Not just so Glasgow can win – which it should – but to shine a light on some of efforts of the other cities.’

Next year

Ah well, there is always next year. Until then, you can support Glasgow’s fantastic Indian restaurants by eating from them for as long as your spice receptors can take it.

You can browse the menus and order from all the 5pm Takeaway Indians in Glasgow from here.